The Gottman Method And Popular Couples Counseling Exercises

Many romantic relationships and romantic partners can experience conflicts, challenges, and impasses. There is no ideal relationship, and disagreements can occur for various reasons, even small things, which may not always signify the need for a change. It can be impossible to avoid conflict. However, couples counseling using Gottman exercises might benefit you if you and your partner are concerned about relationship stress or struggling to resolve conflicts. 

Top couples therapy exercises

While there are several couple counseling techniques and couple counseling exercises mental healthcare professionals may focus on, the most commonly utilized options are listed below.

"Love maps" is a term devised by the Gottman Institute to describe the process of getting to know your partner's world and recognizing your partner's inner self and their likes and dislikes. When you decide to spend your life with someone, you may let them into your world, including memories of your past, thoughts on your present, and what you hope for your future. 

The second step in the Gottman process includes learning friendship skills to combat contempt. It can involve becoming your partner's friend and their lover. You might use specific statements expressing appreciation, noticing positive aspects, and showing care to foster fondness.  

Managing conflict with the Gottman method  

In Dr. Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, his research found that 69% of relationship problems may be unsolvable. Instead of having your partner see the situation from your point of view or fix every disagreement, it may be healthier to manage the conflict.  

Exercises to try

Introspection

Gratitude

It may not be uncommon for couples to forego the support they seek because they feel embarrassed or ashamed to attend an in-person therapy session. Couples therapy exercises can be conducted in various manners, including online. If you face barriers, shame, or uncertainty regarding in-person relationship coaching, consider online resources like the BetterHelp website for individuals or its sister website, Regain for couples. 

A growing body of research shows that online counseling for couples effectively addresses relationship concerns. In a report published in the European Journal of Counseling Psychology, researchers noted that significant barriers preventing couples from seeking counseling included cost, long commute times, and discretion concerns. These concerns were removed when partaking in internet-based counseling, and other researchers found that this type of counseling was more effective than in-person couples therapy.